Famished for Validation

I have chased validation most of my life. It’s still an ongoing struggle.  In our groups we make a distinction between validation and affirmation. We say validation only comes from God and affirmation comes from men affirming what God has already validated.  This helps us remember validation only comes from God…

This reading from John Eldridge’s Restoration Year captures the idea…

Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. 1 PETER 2:10

You simply cannot neglect your heart and get away with it. The mind is a beautiful instrument, one you certainly want to develop all your life. God gave you the mind to protect the heart, not usurp it.

So let’s think about identity and the heart for a moment. All of us, young or old, have within us a famished craving for validation. It will not be denied.

You will chase validation wherever you can and you learn pretty quickly what your world rewards, what it shames, what it cares nothing about. The athletes will seek validation by being fast, strong, and winning, while the valedictorians throw themselves into papers, exams, and maintaining their GPAs. The “spiritual leaders” latch on to the praise coming from their giftings, and they give their hearts and souls over to that dance, while the “cool” kids go barefoot and wear dreadlocks. In one form or another, we are all looking for the same thing.

But often it’s based on the false self

—simply living for what others approve of while famished for validation. But the false self-even when built upon some part of your genuine gifting-will never ever settle the inside issue of needing validation. There is only One who can, and should, give it to you.

Are you aware of your deep desire for validation? Consider where you see yourself looking for it. Jesus, reveal to me where I’m seeking the validation for the identity of my heart outside of you.